Becka's Babble

Ramblings of a Romance Writer

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Have You Ever Been Royally Pissed at Yourself?

Have you ever been so damn angry at yourself that you wanted to kick your own ass? Kept telling yourself over and over to do something and it slips your mind? Why is it that when you're pissed off, every little minor infraction becomes magnified until it turns into some Major Drama Beast with 10 ugly heads? It's like your anger is refracting the...infraction into tiny stinging barbs, which might not hurt too badly on it's own, but combined with the thousands of other barbs pricking you... Gah. Forget it. Fricken' cheesy-ass analogy.

Today, I was royally pissed at myself. Why? Well, because I attended a loop chat, and spent the afternoon posting excerpts of which no one replied to. Which is fine, there are lurkers, I'm so not complaining. But it did eat some time. So when I'm finally ready to emerge from my cave and take my kids to Karate, I realize the kitchen isn't clean. Crap! I thought I'd DONE that already! Nope, all I did was empty the dang dishwasher, I didn't actually LOAD it.

So there I am, trying to load the thing at light speed while my kids are wrestling with their Gi's (Gee?) I don't know how to spell it. It's got a hard "G". It's the black (or white) (or red) uniform you wear in Karate. Anyhow, they don't know how to tie bows yet, and each Gi has two of them. One on the inside of the shirt (because it wraps around the belly) and one on the outside of it (because it wraps around the other way). Then, each kid has a belt I gotta tie.

So after tying 8 bows (two per kid) and 4 belts, I look up and holy crap, it's 10 after 5pm! Class is at 5:30, and I still gotta drive in work traffic. I jet out the door and realize in the driveway - I forgot my ***damn notebook.

For those of you who read this blog, you'll know that sometimes, writing long-hand in my kids' Karate class is the only time I can write without other issues pressing on me. But there's literally NO time to get it, because it's downstairs in our daylight basement and we have a big house, it would take too long to go get without being even more late, like don't even bother going to the class you're going to be so damned late.

So I'm cussing up a blue streak and my kids are gasping. "Mommy, you said a bad word!"

"You're @$#&!*$# right I did!"

At this point, my kids are scared. I've grown horns. (See pic above)

So I'm driving like a madman, er, woman, and I'm literally stuck behind this ONE FRICKEN' PERSON who apparently seems to be going the same ****ing way I am - the whole entire way. Now, this person isn't slow, they're not a maniac. They're driving just above speedlimit, but it's the fact that it seems like I'm "following" them that's pissing me off all the more. What are the **** odds they'd be going the same exact way as me? I mean, my route takes me on some twisty streets. Turn here, turn there, go here, go there. From almost my front door, people, I followed this one black SUV. If the lady driving could hear me yelling at her, I think there would have been some serious road rage.

Dear God, I was so pissed off today. Needless to say because of my ding-dang blunder, I didn't get ANY writing done today, I just sat in Karate class staring at the clock. Joy of ****ing joys. If I could have kicked my own ass, I would have.




At 4:52 AM , Anonymous Diane Craver said...

That totally sucks. I hope today is a much better day. I've had that happen where I spent time posting excerpts and no replies. Very frustrating but I bet yours were read later.

I had to read your post when I saw the horns. LOL


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